This story is the beginning of a project to tell the real stories of people in Iowa who have had abortions. The goal of the project is simple: To normalize the experience of having an abortion with real stories, to uplift diverse experiences of people who have had abortions in Iowa, and to spread solidarity, compassion and community. Each story is entirely in the words of the participant to preserve their experiences, emotions, and personhood exactly as it is.
Leah Vanden Bosch
she/her/hers – Des Moines, Iowa
“We’re talking a lot about normalizing abortion right now, and I feel like I had a pretty normal experience of an unplanned pregnancy. I had been dating someone for about six weeks and had actually ended the relationship two weeks before I found out that I was pregnant. So I was single, and I was new to Des Moines. I had lived here for eight months. I was just a week into my new job, and I was actually here alone. I had a great roommate, but she had to move back for the summer, so at that time I was living alone.
Part of my story is that I am in recovery from an eating disorder, so I was definitely able to tell I was pregnant. I know my body well, and I knew something wasn’t right. And even when I was starting to have the feeling I was pregnant, I knew right away that I would have an abortion. I hadn’t really thought about it much for myself before, but it was just my first thought of knowing that was what I needed to do with where I was at in life.
I’m from northwest Iowa, Orange City, and a very conservative Christian family, and I’m very close to my family. I was raised to believe that abortion is murder. That ate at me the whole time. I don’t think my experience needed to be as traumatic or as big of a deal as it was. A lot of my mental health struggles and my eating disorder, a lot of what plays into that is wanting to meet peoples’ expectations, and this was another way I was going to let them down. And it was very difficult because of that, just to process what I was going through.
My roommate was so supportive – I just caught up with her the other day and thanked her again, because I knew I could make that decision knowing I would have support. She came back to be with me that day.
My abortion was very quick, and safe. I was made to feel comfortable. They let my roommate come back for my abortion, her and the nurse held my hand. I walked out of that room and recovered for thirty minutes. They gave me soda and crackers in the waiting room. When we left, we went and got Panera Bread. It was easy – everyone deserves that. It’s different for everyone, but I do think that the normal doesn’t get shared enough.
My abortion was five years ago almost to to the day, and I’m having lots of feelings of gratitude. I have more confidence and more reassurance than ever right now, knowing I did the right thing, and knowing I don’t need to be ashamed of my decision. I better understand the need for abortion as a whole after hearing so many others’ stories, knowing that the choice truly needs to be up to the pregnant person. You leave it at that, and that gives you peace. And that’s a good way of describing how I feel, I feel very at peace with my decision. I’m not significant in that I am one of four cis women, under the age of forty, who get an abortion in their lifetime. It’s so normal.
I didn’t realize how stigmatized abortion really was. I had to live through it and work through it to get there. I started as this little baby activist who grew up as a Republican. As I met folks and learned their stories, I would start to get these pangs of discomfort, and then recognize it as judgment or shaming someone. In my own experience, knowing how personal it was, you can’t duplicate it, so you know, I can’t ever interpret someone else’s experience. At the end of the day, they know what’s best for themselves, and you respect them, you love them. I realized I was still learning so much, and it took time to work through that discomfort for myself. People need to be willing to do the work and it’s not easy, but I’m glad I’m doing it.
I wish people knew and understood that abortion really is life-saving healthcare. I know it saved my life in a very black and white way. I struggle with suicidal ideation, and I did attempt to commit suicide when I was twelve. So I took myself very seriously when I was going through this. I was in a really horrible, dark place. I saw something the other day that said, “Abortion is Suicide Prevention”, and that’s one hundred percent my experience. I would have rather taken my life than continue that pregnancy. And I know from the stories I’ve heard that there are many folks who have felt the same way. It’s life-saving healthcare, and it’s someone’s personal, medical decision. No one should be able to challenge that.”
Iowa Abortion Access Fund, in partnership with board member and photographer, Jasper Chung Photography, is highlighting this ongoing series of abortion stories. If you are interested in participating in this series by sharing your story, please fill out this google interest form: https://forms.gle/fMXhRAzhDm1ztpxM9.
For questions please contact Jasper Chung at jasperchung517@gmail.com.